As we move quickly through May, I can reflect on my first Mother’s Day. It took us so many years to get to this point and many difficult days and nights thinking I may never get to celebrate this day that I think it still doesn’t feel real. Even holding and playing and snuggling my little man still feels like a dream to me. It was a special day to look at Brooks and thank God for the blessing. I AM BLESSED.
But Mother’s Day holds other feelings for me as well. Feelings of loss. Feelings of sadness. Infertility struggles and miscarriage have left their mark even after my rainbow baby has brought me so much happiness. Undeniable happiness. So on Mother’s Day, I thought not just of my sweet boy in my life, but also for the baby we never had and the years of waiting and wondering what our life would look like as parents. I thought of other women who want so desperately to be momma and are struggling and worry it will never happen.
For me, Mother’s Day will probably always be a time of reflection. Thankfulness with a hint of sadness. Thankfully, this journey has brought me closer to God and deeper in my faith. I know Chris and I had to go through these struggles for a clear purpose and that only makes Mother’s Day even more special.
So here’s to walking through hardship with the Lord, making it to the other side, and the ability to enjoy His blessings daily. I’m so thankful Jesus is our Savior and that he is with me always.